Ranma X Sgt Frog: Insanity Unleashed!
by Aoryuzen Alpha134
Summary: Ranma Saotome and Fuyuki Hinata; two people, one 4 years older than the other, have always carried on their daily lives without each other. Live and let live. One day, from Viper attacks, to untold killing techniques, they soon find out that the real insanity is set to begin the moment they meet as master and student. Rated M for some suggestive content.
1. Pilot episode

The Hinata residence, located within the Kissho region of Inner Tokyo, 3:00 pm. January 9

* * *

Fuyuki Hinata, aged 12, was as usual sitting in his room deep in thought, slumped over on his desk, arms crossed in from of him, contemplating how he would strike his next big find for his steadily burgeoning occult club. Suddenly, his left ear bone vibrated as it picked up a faintly tell tale sound coming from the next room across the upstairs hallway. Natsumi Hinata, only one year his senior, was conversing with someone on the phone.

As hard as he pressed his ear against the wall, he couldn't quite make out what exactly his big sister was saying next door. So soon as the mobile phone clicked off as she hung up finished with her conversation, Fuyuki was even more curious as he gently removed himself from the wall.

Shortly afterward, the door knob turned itself, accompanied by a couple of taps on the door. "Come in." Fuyuki called out as Natsumi opened the door and sat right down next to him on the bed.

"Hmmm. How do I start this? I'm sure you're wondering why Momoka is so attracted to you. Well, don't you worry about a thing, Winter. I can get that wimpy nerdy body of yours nice and fighting fit with one simple phone call. Be right back." Natsumi conversed leaving him confused as hell as she rushed back into her own room to swiftly dial the Tendo residence.

\Hello, Tendo residence./ A voice belonging to one Kasumi Tendo resounded from the cellphone she used earlier. "Hi, this phone call is for Ranma Saotome, can I get him on the line? And no, I'm not one of the Fiancees either." Natsumi replied duly. Kasumi held on to the phone without hanging up.

"Ranma. There's a phone call for you." Kasumi called of Ranma "WHAT IN THE LIVING!? Oh fine, as long as it ain't one of them damn fiancees or rivals." Ranma bemoaned as he grudgingly picked up the phone on the other side of the line, with an all too familiar shadow noiselessly watching over him.

\Yo. You've reached Ranma Saotome, What do ya want?/ Ranma Saotome, aged 16 grumbled in annoyance over the phone line. "I was just wondering if you could teach my little bro, Fuyuki the ins and outs of anything goes martial arts." \Nope! Ain't doin' it OOWW!/ Ranma replied only to get a staggering whack to the head from his own father; Genma Saotome as the latter swiftly emerged from the shadows.

\You foolish boy! Have you forgotten the founding principle of anything goes martial arts!? Never turn down a challenge! Think of teaching this impressionable youth as just another challenge in anything goes martial arts!/ \ALRIGHT ALREADY! Sheesh! I'll do it, I'll do it! But don't expect me to agree with you 'cause I ain't gonna like it!/ Father and Son argued over the line.

\Please, excuse my son. He tends to be hesitant sometimes, but I'm all too happy to tell you that he would gladly take your impressionable little brother in as his very first student. By the way, I'm Ranma's father, Genma Saotome./ "REALLY!? AWESOME! Buh bye!" Natsumi squealed with preteen like excitement as she hung up to Fuyuki's curiosity, the latter stepping into her room and sitting by her side shortly thereafter.

"You're joking right, Summer? There's no way in hell I'd survive something like that." "Don't be silly, of course you'll survive. Here, then take this!" Natsumi chirped as she stuffed a peculiar pill (blue in color) in Fuyuki's mouth, and made him swallow it with a glass of water in startlingly quick succession.

For some reason, no immediate effects were to be felt at first, but that's because he has yet to meet Ranma, as a mysterious force had quietly urged him to carry out. "Well, what was that?" "You'll see." Brother and sister conversed as he went back into his own room, the rest of the day carrying on as it is for them.

"Jeez. Of all the shit to get roped into, this might as well be the worst." Ranma grumbled to himself back in the Tendo residence. "You never know, Ranma. He could turn out to be a nicer person than you think he is." One Akane Tendo reassured sitting next to him in his room.

"That ain't exactly the point, Akane. The point is that shit's been going downhill real fast 'round these parts, especially now after this fucked up engagement of ours got kicked into high gear." Ranma complained, lying down afterward. "I know that, Ranma, but sometimes, you just have to keep an open mind about this, at least for me." Akane pleaded.

"Eeh, guess you got a point there. That is 'till frickin' Kuno and company among others crashes the party again." Ranma bemoaned as Akane, having nothing more to say, quietly took her leave, allowing for Ranma to further contemplate what the next day has to offer.

For now, the gears driving the wheel of Ranma's newest, most unusual challenge yet have been slowly set in motion. Things will ultimately return to normal by nightfall as the inhabitants of both the Hinata and the Tendo households retire into bed for tonight.

* * *

Although, come tomorrow, normal won't quite be what it once was before, anytime soon.

* * *

 **Ranma X Sgt Frog: Insanity unleashed! De Arimasu!**

 **By Alex Young**

Ranma Saotome and Fuyuki Hinata; two people, one 4 years older than the other, have always carried on their daily lives without each other. Live and let live. One day, the rules of normalcy, exceedingly fickle as they often are, are turned upside down the moment they meet for the very first time. From Viper attacks, to untold killing techniques, the real insanity is set to begin the moment they meet as master and student.

* * *

The Tendo residence, 11:00 am. The very next day

* * *

Ranma was out overlooking the sky standing in the porch, with seemingly nothing out of the ordinary going on outside. Then again, for all residents of Furinkan, or Nerima for that matter, normalcy (or at least as we have come to define it) is the exception, not so much the rule.

For Ranma, however, it was only that rather unusual calm before the storm, a fast approaching storm at that. A knock at the gates is enough for Ranma to stride on up to them, cautious of what might happen, seeing as so much chaos has rendered him on high alert. Ranma slowly opened one of the gate doors, slowly peeking outside wary of what's to come next.

It was Fuyuki, with his apparent lady friend Momoka and big sister Natsumi behind him. He was wearing a dark blue hoodie, fingerless gloves, a pair of jeans, and a golden Japanese style bandana wrapped around his head. The hoodie itself comes with a set of Japanese characters for "Fighter" emblazoned up front in gold lief, for show that is.

"So. I take it you're the kid yer big sis was talkin' 'bout, eh?" Ranma mused warily. "Uhhh, yeah. By the way, I-I'm Fuyuki Hinata." Fuyuki stammered nervously before Ranma, almost intimidated by the latter's brawny, battle-hardened figure. "In that case, my name's Ranma Saotome, seeing as we've only just met, why don't we get settled down?" Ranma proposed extending a calloused, well-worn hand of his. "Sure, why not." Fuyuki sighed taking the boy martial artist up on his offer, the later almost smiling thereafter. {So far so good. He don't seem to be too bratty.} Ranma mused as he sat at the table with Fuyuki and Natsumi.

Come lunch time... "HOLY CRAP! IS THAT A STRAY CAT OVER THERE!?" Natsumi screeched pointing to Ranma's left side. "W-W-What!? Where!?" Ranma panicked snapping his head between the left and the right, his acute ailurophobia in full swing! "Tehee! Just kidding!" "Seriously?" The two conversed, with Natsumi having slipped the red pill in Ranma's rice during the "prank" for his consumption.

Ranma, eyebrows furrowed, did eventually swallow the red pill, and he took his drink of water, but not before Genma wolfed down his meal and stole Ranma's as usual. "Hey! Get your fat ass back here, pops!" "Can't catch me since you're slower than molasses, boy!" Father and son argued, performing a complete lap literally around the neighborhood before returning home.

There, Fuyuki awaited them, hesitant even to begin throwing a punch. "Nyanana naa naaaaaaaa! You can't catch mee!" Genma teased at a considerable distance, but getting closer to the boy. "Ok, here I, go!" Fuyuki muttered nervously as he pulled back a tightly closed fist, as though cocked like a loaded gun, eyes now closed.

He stepped forward preparing to strike his first blow. As soon as Genma was close enough. {Now!} Fuyuki declared as he launched his fist with a slingshot for an arm. The fist connected with Genma's nose, propelling the back of his head into the nearest awning support pylon, striking it and immobilizing the Saotome patriarch.

Ranma strode on up to his father's side, somewhat amazed at how Fuyuki had managed to immobilize him given that he didn't throw all that hard a punch, and his eyes slowly opened up to see the results; he wasn't bowled over like the rest of them had expected, instead stopping Genma cold in his tracks. needless to say, the latter did not see that one coming.

Ranma took his rice back, and gobbled it all up as Fuyuki pulled back his fist from Genma's nose. So soon as fist and nose were no longer connected, Genma's body simply crumpled to his left into the snow-covered lawn. Genma shivered and convulsed painfully in the snow before Ranma and Fuyuki picked up the man and took him back home.

"Saotome! Are you alright, Saotome?" Soun muttered concerned for his fellow patriarch as Ranma and Fuyuki lay the latter on the table. "You really needn't worry so much, Father. I've seen Mr. Saotome survive far worse." Kasumi sighed tending to Genma's predicament.

"Wow! I'm officially impressed!" Ranma mused rubbing Fuyuki on the top of his head. "C'mon, Ranma. It wasn't even that hard a punch I threw." Fuyuki replied with utmost humility, and in a tad petulant tone.

"A'ight, kiddo. That was just your first taste of what I hafta go through day in and day out. Now I wanna teach you the ins and outs of anything goes martial arts." Ranma declared, his red master pill kicking in. "Okay. Now I'm stoked." Fuyuki chirped as he jumped high up in the air, his blue student pill having taken full effect.

Once both master and student are in close proximity, the respective pills take effect; the master is absolutely driven to teach, and the student is just as driven to learn. Such is how the master and student pills work once in close proximity, With Ranma and Fuyuki as master and student respectively, this situation won't be any different as the two enter the dojo.

"Okay, kid. Do you know what anything goes martial arts is all about?" Ranma began with spoken work first. "If I had to hazard a guess, then it's a fighting style where pretty much anything goes." Fuyuki replied. "Whoa. Looks like ya hit the nail on the head this time, Fuyuki. Basically, anything goes martial arts is more or less self explanatory in the sense that anyone who knows any fighting style can get into it easily and effectively. In your case, it ain't much different, even as you don't know how to fight. Although it's a little trickier in your case." Ranma elucidated as any good teacher should.

"Now then, ya don't mind showing me a proper fighting stance will ya?" "Uhh, you mean like this?" Fuyuki replied getting into stance; one leg in front of the other, eyes front, head lowered, back hunched over, fists at the ready. "Hmm. So far so good. Now how about throwing a jab or two for me, eh?" Ranma requested. "Umm, sure, why not?" Fuyuki replied set to twist his body in the appropriate direction, and clock his fist in position in true Sino-Japanese Kempo fashion.

Eyes fully open this time, Fuyuki threw only his second jab, significantly faster and harder this time, against a wooden pole. Although the pole barely cracked, and his knuckles underwent several microscopic fractures, hardening them in the process. It hurt like a son of a bitch, but it's just another part of training under Ranma.

"Huh. Never seen ya do so well. Let's say we dive straight into a best of 3 match up, eh?" Ranma proposed. "Yeah. Those 3 lessons weren't much of a challenge anyways. Seeing as I'm proving a more tactile learner." Fuyuki answered, more enthused this time as the two combatants got into position.

"Your move, kid." Ranma opened up in a rather taunting manner, and before long, the dojo burst to life with martial arts moves, more advanced than usual for a perceived rookie as Fuyuki. The moves themselves were powerful enough to send shock waves flooding the interior of the dojo, although each of the three rounds was so quick and so violent, that it left both fighters weary by the end.

Ranma won the first round, Fuyuki the second round, and Ranma again, winning out this time in clinching the third round, proving that Fuyuki has a very solid foundation with which to grow and develop upon, yet at the same time, he has a long way to go before he can ever stand a chance of surpassing Ranma overall.

"Well now! If I had an inkling, then I'd say you're not much worse than Akane in the fighting department. Still, you're really starting to impress me, given that was your first time fighting for real." Ranma appraised as a procession of heavy footfalls could be heard outside. "YOU DARE BELITTLE AKANE TENDO IN MY PRESENCE YET AGAIN!? I, TATEWAKI KUNO, BLUE THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH SCHOOL, SHALT SURELY HAVE MY VENGEANCE!" A young man brandishing a bokken growled as he cut the dojo's doors open, and set foot inside.

"Hupsie daisy." Fuyuki strained as he wrapped his arms around Kuno's waist, stepped around into the back, picked him up, and smashed his skull against one of the wooden steps, knocking him completely out cold.

"Well, shit. That was quick." Nabiki mused as she strode up to see Kuno's uncomfortable predicament, Fuyuki already up and about rubbing the bottom of his nose with his pointer finger.

"Huh? Guess that about wraps it up for today. Be sure to come back tomorrow where we'll break down how the fundamental moves can be melded into combination attacks, among other things." Ranma waved off as Fuyuki and company departed for the day, to return tomorrow as part of a week long free trial period.

* * *

Back to the Hinata residence, several hours later.

* * *

The young Hinata boy, having sampled his very first taste of what it's like to be in the world of anything goes martial arts, was nothing short of thrilled as he described the sequence of events that make up that very first session with Ranma in the dinner hour.

Their mother, Aki, although quite shocked at first, was rather elated at the news, passionately citing that this development in her son's life will be a surefire inspiration for a new shonen battle manga set for conception in the near future.

Come bedtime, though, a very strange, if not highly alien, spherical object later revealed to be a Kero ball, being stored in Fuyuki's room, had activated itself, its antenna homing into his direction. Such movement had opened up the drawer it was inside of, the same movement that lifted the Kero ball out over it and ever nearer to Fuyuki's sleeping form. An aura had begun seeping out of Fuyuki's body and into the Kero ball's antenna for storage.

It would appear as though the Kero ball had sensed that Fuyuki's aura was becoming a stronger, far more viable source of energy than it once was. Once the Kero ball was finished collecting all the battle aura that it needed, it teleported itself back to where its master presently resides; inside the confines of the Hinata family basement. An alien, distinctly frog-like in its physical appearance, is also slumbering the night away.

The Kero ball, as though under the influence of a higher power, had rolled itself into position, and stuck its antenna into the center of frog alien's slimy body. Not a moment too soon, whatever battle aura energy that was drained from Fuyuki before, was being transferred onto the frog alien, more specifically, a symbol situated on its belly referred to as a Keron star. Suddenly, the Keron star went from being rather flat in its generally star-like shape, to taking on a much more pyramid-like form.

The creature's fingers twitched, and then it groaned, now it croaked, all very slowly as it's body began to rise, standing erect, eerily glowing eyes fully opening, battle aura power emanating and coursing throughout its body cavity. "Keeeeeerokerokerokeroooooo!" The creature ominously resonated reverberating through the household well into the night sky; a dangerous portent of alien invasion style power plays to come.


	2. Close encounters of the toad kind?

**Ranma X Sgt Frog: Insanity unleashed! De Arimasu!**

 **By Alex Young**

 **Close encounters of the toad kind?**

* * *

En route to Furinkan high school, 7:00 am. January 11, 2017

* * *

Ranma Saotome found himself casually striding along the fence over to Furinkan high school as he usually does, his apparent fiancée, Akane Tendo in toe.

"Kid seems to be rather promising, Akane. Didn't complain all that much, and he seems to catch on pretty quick." Ranma muttered to Akane. "Well, maybe teaching him can help you relax a little, knowing how grumpy you get with Mr. Saotome and all." Akane giggled to Ranma's displeasure. "Plant it, tomboy! Besides, the kid's turnin' out to be a helluva lot more agreeable to work with than most everything else thrown at me, including even you sometimes." Ranma retorted boredom beginning to set in as the two martial arts prodigies went along their way.

It has now been a full day since Ranma began teaching Fuyuki, and Ranma remained on edge, even knowing that his kleptomaniacal father, Genma did not try to steal his breakfast today, principally because anyone who's anyone would doubtless try their hand at besting him in a pitched martial arts duel.

Even attending Furinkan high hasn't proved itself too dicey that day, what with his improving, yet still severely mediocre grades everywhere other than in P.E, where he performed as flawlessly as usual. This was the case right up until towards the end of the day's final semester, where a familiar figure cast its shadow over the entrance, brandishing his bokken like before.

Tatewaki Kuno had silently stepped forth into the classroom, every slow footfall from his sandals reverberating with a rather calculated, if not highly methodical pace, narrowed, predatory eyes fixed only upon one person.

"Ranma Saotome. I have heard from the grapevine 2 score and 4 hours ago that thou hath taken in an anything goes martial arts student to call thy own, correct?" Kuno calmly interrogated sneering dangerously as he tightened the grip on his bokken, the very air now a thick, sticky treacle of tension.

"The long and the short of it is, pretty much yeah, seein' as the kid came to me for my teachings. So what the fuck's your point?" Ranma delivered unfazed at Kuno, returning the favor with an equally dangerous sneer, the treacle turning a venomous dark blue plaster, which is very telling of the rising tension, and is poised to set like concrete any minute now.

"Hmph, if this be the case." Kuno hissed raising the bokken until its very tip touched his lowermost vertebra, his arms now a crossbow fully locked into position and spring loaded with potential energy, while his eyes widened to a ticking time bomb of rage swelling up until his gut felt grossly protuberant.

"THEN I SHALT NOT ALLOW THAT IMPISH CHILD TO HAVE HIS WICKED WAY WITH HEEEEEERRRRRRR!" Kuno howled pouring all that anger into a single downward strike, smacking into Ranma's face like a fiery wooden sledgehammer, knocking the latter off balance as he collapsed into the classroom floor, exquisitely filmed by high speed cameras as the tension released itself violently and explosively.

Ranma found himself struck down by Kuno, lucky just to have survived, much to Akane's horror, which then melted into contempt as she marched on up to face Kuno in the aftermath.

"Will you get the hell over yourself already. There's not a ghost of a chance in hell I'd date some cut-rate clown like you, I already have Ranma for that." Akane retorted, angrily jabbing her index finger at a disapproving Kuno's solar plexus.

"Tsk tsk tsk. Surely you are mistaken, for as much as I love you, Akane Tendo as well as the Pig tailed girl, I refer quite explicitly to Momoka Nishizawa, yet another angelic maiden who has captured my heart in her unyielding clutches." Kuno beamed flaunting a photograph of Momoka herself. Although the trouble is, Momoka's heart already belongs exclusively with one Fuyuki Hinata, who Kuno now sees as a deadly rival in love. Akane showed her "appreciation," by slamming Kuno in the cranium with his own bokken.

"Honestly. And here I thought you couldn't sink any lower! Disgusting pond scum perv! C'mon, Ranma! We're going straight home!" Akane spat glowering at Kuno's body one last time before dragging the groaning Ranma out of school grounds herself, the remaining student body going home, faces blank from disbelief.

Two little shadows, the frog alien from before, accompanied by a tadpole alien this time, were watching the action unfold at a distance, their bodies distinctly Keronian in shape and bodily proportions.

"Kero kero kero kero! Well, Sergeant Major Kululu, did you get the footage?" One Sergeant Keroro, the frog alien in question demanded.

\Kuku kachoo Mr. Sergeant, sir, of course I got the footage. It's been downloaded onto your tablet mere minutes before you asked, kukuu!/ Sergeant Major Kululu replied over the intercom.

"Good work, Kululu! Now let's take to stalking our incapacitated victims, Private Second Class Tamama!" "Roger Dodger!" Private Second Class Tamama, the tadpole dutifully replied as his superior, Keroro gave him the word, and bolted in a yet unknowing Ranma's direction in that order, all in swift sucession,

As soon as Ranma and Akane made it back home, the two Keronians stalking them in anti-barriers darted in from the side of the main gate, sending a sharp chill down Akane's spine, inadvertently dropping a now fully recuperated Ranma, who landed safely on his feet.

{Oh god! If it isn't one thing, it's another.} Akane shuddered perturbed at the frog invaders' movement speed.

"Ya look like you've seen a ghost, Akane." Ranma pointed out. "It's nothing, really." Akane muttered before laughing sheepishly to hide her fear.

* * *

A little over a few hours later

* * *

The sunset, lapping across the sky like breaking waves, would see Ranma and Akane sitting cross-legged in the dojo, the latter still wearing her Furinkan high school uniform.

"Ranma. I'm not gonna beat about the bush, here. You really shouldn't have left yourself so wide open back there with Kuno." Akane scolded with a visible degree of restraint about her.

"And you think you could have done better, Akane." Ranma berated weakly. "Don't you get it? Of course I could have, AAAAHH!" Akane yelped as Ranma flipped up her winter school uniform's skirt, dragged her towards him by her ankles, and gave her a peck on the tip of her nose in short order.

"Jeez Louise, Akane. How can you possibly lecture me about leaving myself wide open, when you've just left your own damn self wide open. Point is you yourself ought not to repeat my 'mistake,' leaving yourself so wide open the way you did." Ranma retorted to Akane, who shortly after the fact, took the time to recover from the initial shock before blinking her eyes twice.

"Well, you have a point there." "Keeeeeerokerokerokerokerooooo!" Keroro's resonance echoed across the dojo immediately after a surprised Akane's reply left her mouth.

"On the contrary, Pekoponian imbeciles, YOU'RE BOTH WIDE OPEN!" Keroro roared pressing a red button hidden in the wall opposite to the door, a pair of handcuffs attached to cables burst from the floor, locking themselves around a still reeling Akane's ankles, and rapidly hoisting her up to the ceiling on a pulley system, forcibly splaying her legs outward at a V angle. In the mean time, several snake-like alien creatures splintered the wood of the floor under Ranma's feet, screeching, wrapping themselves around his body, tying themselves in knots with interlocking scales before pinning him to the floor.

"Keroo! Operation; wide open is going very smoothly, I am so very awesome." Keroro chuckled and croaked approaching the now captive anything goes martial artists. "That, you are, Mr. Sergeant. But what about other Pekoponians hearing all that racket from outside?" Tamama queried with concern.

"Acoustic cancelation technology, my friend. Only the most bleeding-edge, beyond state-of-the-art iteration there is." Keroro replied in an alleviatory tone as a small, bandana clad black piglet blundered into the Keronian-induced commotion.

"P-chan!" Akane sounded relived as Tamama cracked his knuckles snarling like a rabid honey badger on crack! "I'LL KILL YOU!" Tamama ground out in a high pitch cutting across the dojo floor, smashing P-chan's snout in, sending the piglet flying like a bullet clear across the backyard, and printing out cartoonish piglet-shaped indentations in the walls before coming to a dead stop inside an oven!

The sheer torsional force induced by the sudden deceleration from the resulting impact would have shattered any other piglet's body to shards of broken glass! But not P-chan's! In fact, the black piglet eviscerated himself out from the caldera formed inside the oven, emerging with only miniscule injuries, if at all. Instead, P-chan lunged forward with lightning speed barreling towards the fighting tadpole.

Tamama braced himself with arms crossed, bringing P-chan to a dead stop, shockwaves rippling up, over, and around him. Soon after that, Tamama and P-chan found themselves flying into a frenzy as both danced about the backyard, fists, snow, sweat, blood, and angrish taking flight.

A howling "Sit still ya no good dirty rotten blikety blakin frakin varmint!" could be heard from the enraged Private Second Class in his battle with P-chan within the confines of the dojo as Keroro swaggered up to a visibly frightened Akane, caressing her face with his slimy, amphibian hand not long after. "Face it, Pekoponian. You're forsaken. NO HELP WILL COME FOR YOU!" Keroro shrilled as he jumped clear onto Akane's crotch, much to her discomfort.

The Sarge procured a Keronian military standard issue pocket knife, pulling at her underwear with it, which turned out to be a thong of all things. "Hmm, naughty little girl to be wearing things like that, aren't you?" Keroro chided as he slid down Akane's figure, stopping at her chest. "Well, looks like your boobies leave quite a lot to be desired, given how smallish they are." Keroro croaked in his throat. "I swear to god, I will yank your tongue out through your asshole if you don't fucking get off of me, you dirty frog!" Akane demanded as she shook herself violently about, struggling to shake Keroro off of her, which she did upon finishing her sentence.

"Besides, you may refer to me as the Gamma Planetary System, the 58th Planet, Keronian Invasion Division of the Keron Force, Advance Reconnaissance Mission Preparatory Invasion Terror Platoon Leader, Sergeant Keroro! However unfortunate that acronym seems, don't go thinking that this is a one time affair either because I have three other battle hardened Keronian soldiers at my beck and call, ready to conquer this hunk of space dust and bring it to its knees, Pekoponian fools!" Keroro roared in Akane's face upon landing on his feet.

Ranma on the other hand, had summoned what little strength he could as the serpent creatures coiled themselves even tighter around his body, almost trying to choke him out the more he struggled, only for Ranma to break both his legs free. He then writhed and seethed with anger at the Keronian intrusion, then bucked and kicked outwards, striking the serpents, and ripping them in half, killing them instantly as Ranma launched himself fully erect.

"Heh, so. You were saying something about us being forsaken. Besides, you stupid little fuckers can call off your stupid little shit-vasion, principally because it's a martial artist's SWORN DUTY TO STOP ALIENS LIKE YOU FROM ENSLAVING US ALL, AND THAT'S RANMA SAOTOME TO YOU YOU STUPID FUCKING SPACE REPTILE!" Ranma howled as he pulled back his fist, and then punched out the Sergeant, who went down like tissue paper.

"Ok, you've made your point, kero. BUT I VEHEMENTLY REFUSE TO CALL IT QUITS BECAUSE IT'S MY SWORN MISSION TO CONQUER ALL OF PEKOPOOOOON!" Keroro screeched as Tamama launched P-chan back into the dojo, only for the former to get dropped out cold, and by someone even Ranma couldn't have expected to come.

"Well well well, you were saying something about three other hardened soldiers?" Genma broached as him and Fuyuki set foot inside bringing in the other three Keronians; Corporal Giroro, Sergeant Major Kululu, and one Lance Corporal Dororo, all very much unconscious to Keroro's dismay.

"Now do you see why an invasion of planet Earth isn't a very good idea? The Sarge is all yours, master Ranma." Fuyuki admonished before laying the defeated Keronians at a sneering Ranma's feet, who obligingly cracked his knuckles. "Ha! ADIOS, MUCHACHOS!" Ranma screamed as with one powerful kick, he sent them all collectively flying into the upper atmosphere, a mysterious ufo catching them and returning from whence it came.

"Now then, anything goes martial arts secret technique!" Ranma mused as he lifted Akane's upper body, severed the cables attached to the now unlocked cuffs on her ankles, and let her lower body fall neatly into Ranma's other arm. How he managed to pull this off, only Fuyuki could ever catch fully, seeing Ranma use his free hand to slice the cables in two forcing the cuffs to relinquish their grip on Akane, causing her to wind up where she is presently as that same hand caught her lower body.

The ordeal had left Akane pretty pale as Ranma got her back on her feet, and took her to Genma for transit back inside the house. "Last time we fought, kid. I had noticed that you leave yourself way too wide open for your own good everytime you attack. So I've made it a point to see this next lesson about sharpening your combat senses so you may dodge or block attacks more effectively." Ranma explained before a needle like object pricked his flesh, drawing the aura out of him, as much as it could store, before it switched to Fuyuki, and drained some of it out of him as well. Fuyuki had only now noticed that the Kero ball was the culprit, but before he could remove it, it disappeared before his eyes, leaving them both lost for words.

"Anyways, let's start by first closing our eyes, clearing our minds of unneeded thoughts, and taking deep breaths, in and out like what I'm doing now." Ranma mused as the two followed that advice to a t. Maybe too much of a t for Ranma's own good as a fist knocked him out of the dojo completely. "And that's what you get for upstaging me, Ranma!" A young man, brandishing the same bandana as P-chan, growled with a deadly sneer.

"You dare hurt my master? Nobody does that and gets away with it! Not if I have a say!" Fuyuki cried kicking him the leg, only for the next to be blocked, and the former dragged in to set himself free from the latter's cast iron grip. "Stop getting in the way, Ryoga!" Ranma snarled as he angrily dragged the man, named Ryoga Hibiki, out of the dojo and into a fist fight. Already, Fuyuki could infer that him and Ryoga have been in this pissing contest for years now as their constantly trading devastating blows can attest.

Fuyuki made a snowball, and hurled it like a bullet at Ryoga, who didn't exactly appreciate the snowy pot shot, the latter's reply being to angrily toss the umbrella he carries in the former's direction. Fuyuki had begun to calm down, to the point that time slowed down around him. With that, he moved to the side, adjusted his hand to match the speed of the incoming umbrella, gently nudged it aside, and bent his legs downwards, even as the umbrella opened up slightly.

Ryoga then quickly whipped a barrage of razor sharp bandanas at the two as they dodged or deflected each one of them, with at least 1/20 of Fuyuki's blood lost in the affair as he cut some of them down himself. Suddenly, Fuyuki grabbed three of the bandanas, and flung each of them at such a high speed that Ryoga had faltered very badly, lending Ranma the opportunity to end another inane scuffle with him. Fuyuki's blood, oddly enough, had picked itself up, and returned to his body, any toxins within it expelled as the cuts completely disappeared two seconds thereafter.

Though this did leave Fuyuki tired as hell, collapsing in the process. "Aw well. That about wraps it up for today, kid. Come back tomorrow, and we'll build upon what you're learning so far." Ranma advised as he got Fuyuki back up again, and carried him home. Fuyuki saw himself taking a bath, getting dressed for bed, and getting a good night's sleep, in preparation for what tomorrow has to offer.


	3. 2 Fast, 2 Froggy-ous!

**Ranma X Sgt Frog: Insanity unleashed! De Arimasu!**

 **By Alex Young**

 **2 Fast 2 Froggy-ous!**

* * *

Furinkan, 3:00 pm. January 12

* * *

A Keronian transport sees itself cruising intently above the skies of Furinkan High, as though on a very important mission; a mission that involves dropping a scatter bomb, loaded not with high explosives, but with sensory plugs for gathering information, specifically about Chi spikes within the area.

"Heh, seeing as how poorly you fared in your last plot, Sarge. I suggest we find out more about this place called 'Furinkan,' in strict accordance to ARMPIT protocol." Corporal Giroro growled softly as he cleaned out one of his guns before loading it up with live ammunition.

"I concur, Corporal. Which is why we intend to pepper the landscape with a sensory cluster of 100,000 spread out over a 60 mile radius. Observe." Kululu sneered in pressing the button opening the back hatch fully, docking clamps decoupled from the giant munition, the craft's nose pointing slightly upward causing the bomb to slide out of the loading bay.

Now the front-heavy bomb changes angles to straight down, propelled by gravity. The six folding drag fins, joined only at the posterior, break outward revealing the sensory cluster before the plugs all gets shot out. The very bottom part of the munition breaks off to act as a parachute, tethered to some strong yet elastic rope.

The maximum length of the rope is reached, the force of the stop lights a central fuse extending down the length of the munition, triggering the individual plugs to fire off in a carefully coreographed sequence of events, encompassing the diameter surrounding Furinkan high school.

Each of the plugs has landed with quick, clinical placement covering the maximum area with few plugs. "Well, Sergeant Major, given the opportunity, I could've dropped that bomb full of sensor packets my own damn self. A rousing success, I'd say." Keroro congratulated as the alien craft now powered its way home. What's left of the discarded bomb came tumbling head first into the school's pool, where Ryoga, the infamous lost boy, was out camping.

The resulting spray of water from the impact had formed a giant flower of chlorinated water where one of its petals crash landed on him as he tried to escape, turning him into an extremely waterlogged P-chan, thrashing, squeaking, and squealing angrily protesting at, then pursuing the now distant frog invaders returning to base. Apparently, Ryoga and P-chan are one in the same, only because he fell into heitowennichuan, the spring of drowned black piglet. The latter event had only occurred upon having packed up camp and found some hot water to douse himself with.

Back in the Tendo residence, a game of martial arts tag was about to take place. The rules, other than allowing for the use of anything goes martial arts techniques, are simple; the one who is it is the one who is touched in the solar plexus, therefore, they must touch the other in that same area to have them become it, and the one who survives the longest without being it, wins.

This is really a test of speed, accuracy, and timing, not to mention a bit of hand-eye coordination that Ranma has served up for Fuyuki. As is to be expected, Ranma made the first move.

"Tag, yer it! Hahaa!" Ranma shot out as Fuyuki, being it, gave chase. "You can't escape that easily!" Fuyuki cried back as he slid out the door to the dojo, and bounded forward before gunning it along the wall surrounding the backyard. He bounded again, eyes having caught Ranma clambering over the wall.

Catching Ranma by the left foot, Fuyuki propulsed himself upward onto the former's shoulders, contorted his upper body forward and upside down. Ranma immediately grabbed Fuyuki's arms, and casted him over, feet landing on the wall's roof shingles, hands now grappling with that of Ranma as the latter twisted his body back upright, knocking the former's off balance and landing him on his upper back.

"Tag! Now you're it, Ranma!" Fuyuki taunted sticking his thumb into Ranma's solar plexus but not piercing it as he dropped him into the grass below, taking off shortly thereafter, Ranma doing the chasing this game was taken to the roof tops, where Ranma tried to make an opening in Fuyuki's swift, precise defense.

When Fuyuki finally "relented," Ranma seized his chance thrusting his index finger towards his opponent's solar plexus, when it was really a tactical maneuver setting up for Ranma's arm to be locked beneath Fuyuki's, the student pulling his master towards him as he dropped backwards. Ranma's free arm made its move and tapped Fuyuki in the solar plexus once more as he gut-launched Ranma over into the streets below.

Fuyuki, having caught on not long after, gave chase once more, now taking it to the route to Furinkan high school, Ranma just evading some small gravel tossed in his direction, creating an opening for Fuyuki to tag Ranma in the solar plexus, again. Though not before dragging him by the ankles and contorting his free arm to reach the chest area.

Now the chase is taken to the sewer canal as Ranma and Fuyuki take the plunge into it one after the other after knocking over some fence segments. Bounding across the walls, and eventually under the bridge, Ranma and Fuyuki clash intensely, each blocking the other's attacks. Afterwards, the two run along the same wall after passing under the first bridge. Ranma dipped down, and zipped across using chestnuts roasting in open fire speed jumping, cutting Fuyuki off, and tagging him again.

This time, Fuyuki grabbed the arm doing the tagging, rapidly dragged Ranma across in front of him, tagged him, and tossed him upward not long after. That didn't last too long. Fuyuki bounded and vaulted completely over the banister to the second bridge, Ranma giving chase yet again. Ranma's eyes caught Fuyuki diving headfirst into a bush situated in the municipal playground.

"Chiisai moko takabisha!" Ranma cried as his palms shot out several small fierce tiger's pride shots in rapid succession, though Fuyuki was clear out of the way by then. "Moko takabigiri!" Ranma growled procuring a sword made from wavelengths identical to his previous attack. His fierce tiger cutter had no trouble felling trees, but couldn't hit Fuyuki worth a damn as the latter leaped and bounded across the playground, occasionally snaking about the jungle gym.

Ranma tossed the aura blade, and Fuyuki deflected it, prompting the former to dive into the jungle gym, the latter slithering out of the way. Sliding under the jungle gym, next hopping onto a seesaw, then rolling across from end to end, Fuyuki crouched on that end as soon as Ranma landed on one end, leaping from that end, on top of one of the swing sets. Fuyuki slid right down the chains, and propelled the swing set forward, but Ranma predicted such movement, and tagged him once more.

Ranma made a break for it, but Fuyuki swung up high until he jumped in Ranma's direction, taking the chase to the local park. Scrambling clear across the tree tops, Ranma was desperately trying to avoid Fuyuki as the latter went in for a thundering dive kick. Ranma deflected, but got knocked off balance, sending him and Fuyuki tumbling down. Each managed to grab onto a tree trunk grinding their fall to a halt, Fuyuki jumping towards Ranma, who tried to block again, but Fuyuki chopped both arms out of the way, tagging Ranma, and making a break for the highway, Ranma pursuing.

The two land on a commercial truck exchanging blows, moving around on top, and sometimes across the sides, even the back for evasion. Ranma fell off the ledge, grabbed hold, scrambled clear across, and attempted to flip back on top, but Fuyuki grabbed his legs, and launched him across the other side, allowing the latter to make an escape. Fuyuki bounded on some passenger cars as though playing frogger, sometimes in the opposite direction, other times staying put.

So soon as the car he was on started to change lanes, he leap frogged off onto the railing, and jumped up to another truck, climbing up the side to get back on top, only to have Ranma tag him again, the latter immediately bolting on ahead. Fuyuki, a throwing chain procured by one of his hands, wound up in hot pursuit of Ranma, who found himself atop yet another commercial truck.

Fuyuki spun the chain so fast that he actually took a powered flight vertically, then horizontally, finally stooping at a 30 degree downward angle, lashing the chain onto a side mounted ladder, then swinging downward, slicing under the truck chassis, leaving Ranma very much confused as to the former's current location. The chain had all but retracted into the left sleeve of his fighting hoodie as he hid under the chassis, Ranma still very much on high alert.

Fuyuki's next approach would involve stealth and guile as opposed to speed and brute force, creeping across the other side, peeking up for reconnaissance, disappearing again as soon as he saw Ranma stepping on the ledge to take a look. Fuyuki crept back across, and then up the ladder, making a bare minimum of audible noise. Though Fuyuki made it on top, he slipped back down grabbing the edge as soon as Ranma began to look behind him, in a double take, no less.

"Jeez, what is this kid up to?" Ranma groaned as he sauntered up to the ladder, peeking down to see Fuyuki already gone, though off-camera, Fuyuki had darted to the front of the side, and clambered atop once more. Fuyuki then circled around behind Ranma, and made his move, slinking towards the latter at such a high speed, he didn't even see the low sweep kick coming.

Fuyuki tagged Ranma, thus the chase had been taken well out of Furinkan and into Kissho. As the chase continued, the nearer they approached their destination, the more they kept slip-sliding away. As they kept tagging and chasing, the two have completely lost track of time, now deeply engaged in a duel set to last until the cows come home. Although as they approached some strangely familiar territory, it doesn't look to be lasting for much longer.

Eventually, Ranma and Fuyuki land on another backyard, blocking, punching, chopping, and kicking, sometimes biting, until the two tag each other simultaneously, thus bringing this high speed anything goes martial arts game of cat-and-mouse tag to an equally stunning draw.

Fuyuki realized thereafter that he was so caught up in the heat of the moment, that he already made his way back home upon further inspection. Aki, already in the kitchen preparing dinner, opened the sliding door to investigate the commotion. "Welcome home." She sounded as Fuyuki introduced Ranma to her. "Your sister already filled me in on the details, come on in Ranma, make yourself at home." Aki invited of Ranma as he and Fuyuki retired to the comfort of the Hinata family home.

* * *

Two hours later

* * *

Yes, Ranma made himself quite at home, even if that meant having another run-in with Sergeant Keroro. Ranma's Chi senses picked up a dead giveaway to the Keronian's position, the martial artist's distrustful eyes fixed upon him. "So. We meet again, Ranma Saotome." Keroro growled returning the stare. "I'm watching you, reptile. If you even think about tying me up again, I'll kill you." Ranma ground out sneering at the frog alien, lightning clashing between the eyes of martial artist and Keronian.

"Will you just drop it, Sarge? I mean c'mon, you've caused us enough trouble as it is." Fuyuki complained as he wrapped his fingers around Keroro's arm, and tugged him away from Ranma. "Fine, but don't think this is over, Pekoponian." Keroro rasped as he made his way to the dining area. "Keh, we'll see about that ya stupid space toad. Like I said before, it's a martial artist's sworn duty to thwart alien invasions, including yours!" Ranma shot back at the Sarge, getting Fuyuki's attention. "C'mon, master, not you, too." He moaned as Ranma begrudgingly came to dinner with the Keronian, wary of whatever tricks Keroro has to pull up his amphibian sleeves.

So far so good, the quiet hanging over dinner time was a rather tense, if only uneasy quiet. Looks like Fuyuki has his work cut out for him as a mediator sitting between Ranma and Keroro as they had their dinner together. They would glare at each other once or twice, only to return to their meals. Fuyuki, too had some of his meal getting caught between the two, thinking of a way to break the ice cold tension.

Aki was outside set to take a walk when Ryoga burst through the masonry in front of her to her left, catching the young Hinata woman severely off guard. Aki was trying to catch her breath when a piece of the broken stonework landed near a bucket of cold water, one that for reasons unknown was left out onto a strip of plywood balancing on a rock. The resulting splash of cold water had caressed up Ryoga's body with its watery hands, the lost boy made to undergo his Jusenkyo cursed metamorphosis from boy to black piglet once more.

Amid the resulting cloud of kicked up snow dust, P-chan had trotted about the backyard to investigate, when he laid his black piglet eyes on Aki, now frozen in fear from the mere sight of an animal, namely him. Aki rushed to close the sliding door outside, blocking entry with her own body, masking her fear with anger, wielding a Louisville slugger in glaring at P-chan, who stared back at her in confusion. "Grrr, rrr, rrr, oh no you don't. I'm not just gonna turn tail and run away screaming like some little girl, just because you're a dirty hog!" Aki rasped tightening her grip on the baseball bat, widening her already aggressive stance.

Though P-chan isn't exactly one to demur, rather the black piglet was moving forward in feeling threatened, especially after having to deal with Ranma trying many an attempt on his life. "Back! Stay back! I'm warning you, don't come any closer, cause you know damn well that you are not allowed to set foot inside this house!" With that warning from Aki, P-chan lunged at her going for the jugular in response.

Aki raised the bat, and swung it as hard as she could manage at the bloodthirsty piglet, the bat slamming onto the animal's back, and catapulting it head first into Giroro's snow-capped tent, knocking it over backwards in the confusion. "Jeez. If it isn't one thing, it's another." Fuyuki sighed resigning in getting up after having finished his meal, between Ranma and Keroro, and now, Aki and P-chan.

"Aahhhh! That felt good." She exhaled in opening the sliding door relieved to have bested the black piglet in combat. "Whatever that thing was, I'm just glad you're alright, mom." "Thanks. You know, just because I'm scared of animals doesn't mean I can't fight back against them, just as I did with that pig." Mother and son conversed as they returned to the dining room.

Back in the tent, P-chan has just regained his bearings over Giroro, taking a piss all over the latter's unconscious body before heading out and inside the house unbeknownst to Aki. P-chan, although not having the best sense of direction, managed to find his way to Keroro's room.

Giroro, staggering from the impact, dawdled about smeling like pig urine non-plussed at what just happened to his blood red constitution. Tamama took a whiff at Giroro, exuding rage with every breath taken thereafter, trundled his way after P-chan, with his razor sharp hooves now scratching at the pink mini fridge.

Natsumi, accompanied by Fuyuki, brought a kettle full of hot water to douse the pig with so as to confirm a theory the latter has about Jusenkyo curses. This observation to be is for a report Fuyuki plans to compile regarding such curses. Even the newspaper club from his school has come over to aid him in providing material with which to work. Fuyuki's fingers wrapped themselves around the kettle's handle, and then he tilted it spout side down as hot water flowed down onto P-chan's body, turning him back into Ryoga once more. Thankfully for the lost boy, the Hinata siblings were gracious enough to have brought his clothes with them, that is for him to put on afterward.

In the very least, that's what would have happened had Tamama, now armed with a man-portable howitzer in one hand and machete-sized claws in another, not beaten Fuyuki to it. With that, Tamama opened fire on P-chan, who dodged and bolted off out of the room and into the ARMPIT platoon's headquarters. The black piglet had slipped through the blue tadpole's alien fingers once more as the latter stalked slowly and steadily.

All P-chan needed to do was to evade Tamama and his murderous gaze as he delved deeper into the compound. P-chan scurried away down a hall as Tamama shot the howitzer, shrapnel flying everywhere, eventually digging into P-chan's flesh. "No escape for you, you filthy porker!" Tamama growled lethal about lumbering towards the injured pig, who is now at a platform, teetering on the brink of a bottomless chasm.

P-chan did ultimately take the plunge escaping Tamama's bloodthirsty claw strike, but not before shaking off the shrapnel, as all of it inflicted nothing more than flesh wounds, and were buried shallower than usual. P-chan had plunged into the waters of a viaduct, breaking his fall as he hit it like a needle, or at least as his pig body could manage. It wasn't long before the viaduct transported P-chan very quicky in through the Hinata home's plumbing, up through a shower head, and into a bathtub.

Natsumi, as of yet unaware of the piglet's presence, proceeded to turn the hot water on to fill the tub as she stripped down to take her bath. P-chan, taking care not to make too much noise, leapt out from the tub swiftly as the water began filling up, and the still blissfully unaware Natsumi took the time to sink her exposed skin into the heated water. Unfortunately, P-chan could not quite maintain his grip on the tub's edge, and slid right down into the tub, hot water making contact with Jusenkyo cursed body, transforming from pig to lost boy to Natsumi's utter astonishment.

Ryoga and Natsumi couldn't help but stare at each other's exposed skin, both undergoing a little arousal, each experiencing a small nose bleed, and fainting into each other after opening the drain, letting the water in the tub out of it. His hand had apparently just fallen into her solar plexus as his body simply fell over onto hers. Giroro, more interested in ridding himself of the scent of pig urine, took to quickly cleaning up before checking up on Natsumi, who was supposed to be in bed by now.

What the red demon found next in the tub was for him, nothing short of repulsive beyond all measure; the love of his life, Natsumi and a man other than himself in bed with each other! Technically they're in a bathtub, but it's the same idea. Ryoga let his consciousness flow back in to his body, opening his eyes to see Giroro snorting and frothing at the mouth.

"Heh, real pretty. She a friend of yours?" Giroro seethed pretending not to have known Natsumi as Ryoga separated his body from hers, using her chest to get himself up. "Nah, we just met." Ryoge replied set to take his leave, but not before kicking Giroro off the tub, and stomping him unconscious. With that, Ryoga made it a point to grab his clothes, and get out of dodge as far as he can.

Not before Fuyuki dropped cold water onto him, becoming P-chan once again, captured in slow motion, for study of course. Then Fuyuki poured hot water from the kettle onto P-chan's body, turning him back into Ryoga, also captured in slow motion, again for study. That's when Ryoga, not having the time of day for experimentation with Fuyuki, scrambled his way out the door and deep into the night, leaving everyone else none the wiser.


End file.
